When Difficulty Arises in the Workplace, Try Inclusive Conversations
BY Uwa Ede-Osifo January 03, 2024The workplace can be a breeding ground for conflict, whether it be a clash of personalities or mismatched expectations around the job. Hector Hernandez, leadership development facilitator at ThinkHuman, is no stranger to feeling dissatisfied with a colleague’s behavior.At From Day One’s December virtual conference, “The Arc of Change for People and Culture in 2024,” he shared a time where he experienced a breakdown in communication.He recalled sending a colleague a “very detailed” contract of how they would work together. They agreed upon the terms, but, “lo and behold, two days later,” the person did not follow through, he said.So, he began to prepare to give the colleague constructive feedback. “I was writing down all of my facts,” he said. “I was pulling all of my strategies from how to win these conversations and everything they had done wrong.”But, then, he paused to evaluate the situation.“I said, ‘Hector, what if you’re wrong? What if you are misunderstanding the entire situation? What if you have done or not done something that has led to this breakdown? What don’t you know?’”Hector Hernandez, leadership development facilitator at ThinkHuman, led the virtual thought leadership spotlight (company photo)So, he went back to the root of the conflict, the email he had sent, which had terms of agreement that were seemingly reneged upon. It was there, sure enough, in his inbox. But, Hernandez had never pressed send.“We still had the meeting. But, the tone of the conversation was completely different,” Hernandez said. “It was no longer me with my facts and how I want to win this conversation.”Addressing conflict in the workplace can be difficult, Hernandez says. But, a recognition that people may have blind spots in their knowledge about a conflict, as with the email incident, reframes these conversations as inclusive rather than as battles that produce winners or losers. The goal should be to work together to trace how a problem began and resolve it.An orientation toward inclusivity begins with inviting and welcoming the experiences of others in a dialogue to move beyond the individual, “a marriage of us and them to create ‘We’” Hernandez said. These difficult, but courageous conversations require a degree of introspection.What are the opinions you’re bringing to a conversation versus the actual facts? What are your biases and assumptions? What do you truly want to achieve from a conversation? To follow these lines of inquiry, Hernandez shared existing theories around active listening that lead to productive dialogue. There are three levels of listening.“Level one is your default state,” he said. “Listening takes a lot of energy. Your brain conserves it by not actually listening. So, how many times have you been on a call and there’s someone talking and you’re there, but you’re not really there. This is called listening to speak.”Listening to speak is essentially waiting for your turn in a conversation, he continued. It’s not inherently bad or good, but is not conducive in building understanding about a conflict.Level two is listening to hear. “You could regurgitate what was said to you,” he said.But, level three, listening to understand, is where the magic happens, he said.“You try to recall what you know about the person and their experiences, what is not being said through what is being said,” Hernandez said.People often ask one another how they’re doing at the beginning of calls. The customary reply tends to be in the affirmative (e.g. that they are doing fine, well, or all right). “Did they say they’re all right? Did their voice go up, go down? Did they lean back? What are they actually saying?” Hernandez asked.Active listening can promote empathy and resolve conflicts, still even with these practices, the path forward may include additional dialogue or even escalation. “The important thing is you’re doing it together. You’re doing it transparently,” Hernandez said. “It’s still a win-win for everyone.”Editor’s note: From Day One thanks our partner, ThinkHuman, for sponsoring this thought leadership spotlight.Uwa Ede-Osifo is a writer, journalist, and producer based in Brooklyn, NY. She recently concluded a reporting fellowship at NBC News where she covered national news including youth culture, race, and inequality.
Leading With Humanity: What Younger Workers Expect From Their Managers
BY Uwa Ede-Osifo December 13, 2023When Maribel Diz, senior vice president of human resources at Visa, joined the workforce, she recalls being motivated by a desire to climb the corporate ladder, an ambition shared among others in her generation. The fruits of their labor were to be rewarded ostensibly with higher pay and rank.Millennials and Gen Z, however, approach their careers from a slightly different perspective, Diz shared in a fireside chat during From Day One’s Miami conference. Diz sat down with moderator Jane Wooldridge, senior director of journalism sustainability and partnerships at the Miami Herald, to discuss how managers best tailor their leadership styles to courting a multigenerational workforce, particularly young workers.“They’re driven by intrinsic value,” she said. “These employees care about impact. They care about society. They need to have a sense of pride in the company that they work for.”Gen Z, individuals born between 1997 and 2012, represent an increasing share of the workforce. The cohort is forecasted to be 30% of the workforce by 2030, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Employers focused on high retention rates will need to think about how their employees perceive their role in the company and the extent to which their varying expectations of their managers are being met.Diz’s answer to centering the needs of a multigenerational workforce? Lead with humanity. Authentic LeadershipYoung workers’ trust may not be bought, for example, with a happy hour hosted by their managers, Diz says. But they do want their managers to be stand-up people who will stick up for them when needed.“They’re looking for someone who will have their back, that will give them feedback and coaching,” she said.Providing work-specific guidance signals that employers are invested in their workers’ growth and capability to meet expectations. Still, above all, Diz says beyond work-related agendas, managers should lead with humanity.Maribel Diz of Visa, left, was interviewed by Jane Wooldridge of the Miami Herald, right, during the fireside chat session. She defines this as an authentic relationship-building where employers think of their employees holistically – not just individuals performing a service for the company, but as people with distinct lives.“It starts with asking someone, ‘How are you doing?’” Diz said as an example. “‘How was your weekend?’”Such questions should not be treated as a checklist at the beginning of the meeting or an optional afterthought at the end, rather they represent continuous practices to foster an empathetic workplace.Managers who come across as humble or relatable may also find that employees have more confidence in their leadership. To that end, managers must admit their mistakes and admit when they do not have all the answers. “Always take accountability,” Diz said. After all, everyone is human.The Cost of Losing EmployeesThere’s also a financial benefit to leading with humanity.In a 2022 McKinsey study on generational gaps in the workplace, researchers found that 77% of Gen Z respondents reported actively looking for a new job. Employees may be courted by competitors at any given moment. If they feel that their values and expectations do not align with what their employer is putting forth, they can have a higher incentive to depart prematurely. Loss of talent can be a financial blow to the company.“Do you know how much it costs to hire someone?” Diz said.In the months-long process to recruit, vet, interview, and onboard new hires, companies can rack up costs that range from 50% to 200% of the role’s base salary, according to analysis from research firm Forrester.“If you hire someone and you lose them within six months or even a year because you haven’t fostered that connection with them, you’ve just lost a lot.”She continued, “It doesn’t take much to connect with your people.” Once these relationships have been built across your workforce, a domino effect can occur.“More people would want to sign up and work for you,” Diz said. “If we just pay a little more attention, the reward is just tenfold.”Uwa Ede-Osifo is a writer, journalist, and producer based in Brooklyn, NY. She recently concluded a reporting fellowship at NBC News where she covered national news including youth culture, race, and inequality.